I went last night to our communities local fireworks display.  It was a wonderful huge display coordinated with musical accompaniment on the radio.  I sat on a blanket with my wife and two daughters and three of my daughters male friends from high school.  My daughter with the male friends is twenty-two and a fifth year university student in a demanding program.  Her friends are all university students or graduates one of whom is headed off to medical school and another headed off to his duty station in Texas after this past year graduating from the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado.  My point being they are all well educated young adults and I am not.   Here is what I noticed that set me to thinking.  They were rude.  Not overtly rude.  They made polite conversation, with each other mainly. They, though known to us, are not well acquainted with my wife and I yet they never even took a moment to say a polite hello. They spoke not at all to my 13 year old daughter who is known to them by her impact on her sisters life given she is a physically handicapped child.  They walked out with my older daughter not waiting for us all to leave together even though we were all leaving at the same time and heading the same direction.  Two of the strapping young men even allowed my college age daughter to trail behind carrying bags of snacks while they carried nothing and ignored the fact that my wife and handicapped daughter were each carrying items.  (Yes, my hands were full.)  And, yes, one of them walking out not sharing the load was the young Officer and Gentleman of the US Air Force. It was as if no one had ever taught them to behave.  I have no doubt if they had introduced themselves they would have casually called me by my first name as if that right is somehow universally bestowed. And, there might be some of you who are reading this who think I am an old crab who is looking for ways to be insulted. I am not. I am though cognizant of the impact manners has on society and of how much better society works when manners are observed.  Not even saying hello, and I did after a moment say hello to them, renders me invisible.  The reason that younger adults are to say hello and introduce themselves to older adults is because just like at a stop sign there has to be an order to things.  It simply smooths things out to know who goes first.  And, the order is defined by who has earned the right of way or the respect.  Since we barely know each other it is presumed that since I am older and still alive that I might have accomplished something worthy of respect and the minor deference of getting a “hello” and “hey! how ya doin’?”.  To not get even such a minor act  of respect is a clear comment that they don’t think they owe respect to me.  I am merely the father of their friend.  A man of 50 years of age who is nothing special and they clearly agree even though they don’t know me.  These twenty two year old boys don’t think my wife is worthy of any display of kindness or respect either even though I can tell you she is worth all three of them squared.  And walking out in front of us not even helping the handicapped kid carry a blanket is just thoughtless and arrogant. Polite behavior is what makes the stop lights of life work smoothly.  Respect is what allows conversations to develop and learning to occur. Giving deference to your elders teaches you to learn from those with greater experience and offer knew information in a palatable way.  Carrying the bags for the women and children teaches you as object lesson that treating women with disrespect is always wrong; Whether that woman is your Mother your wife or your date. Helping the handicapped and infirm whenever you can teaches you that fortune is fleeting and that “There, but for the Grace of God go I”.  These minor respects and manners are the lubrication that makes the world a better place and the underpinnings of a society that is stable and healthy. As my father always told me, how you behave reflects on your parents.  I wonder what the parents of these young men would say about how they look in the mirror of their children today? Maybe nothing at all.